“What are you doing?” I said.
“Relax. I’m trying to show you something.”
“Relax?! The room is spinning!”
Indeed, as my desk moved past me, the room continued to spin. All four walls moved from left to right as if I were spinning in my chair, but I was sure that I was actually stationary.
“The world is always spinning,” he said”, you’ve just grown accustomed to its cycle.”
“I’m certainly not accustomed to this,” I said, my head still swimming at the swirling reality that lay before me.
“The world is always spinning,” he reiterated. “As a matter of fact, your entire galaxy is spinning. The planets make their orbits around the sun, your earth turns on its axis, and all that you know of life revolves around all that you think that you are.”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I said.
“Breathe deep,” he said.
I inhaled deeply and gave a sharp exhale. “What’s the point of this?”
“You want to find out your purpose, don’t you?”
“Not if it means painting the walls with the lining of my stomach.”
“Keep breathing,” Yewell said. “Be aware of your breaths.”
I followed his directions and took a few more breaths until my nausea calmed down though the room was still spinning by me.
“What do you see?” he asked.
I started rattling off items as they flashed before me. “My desk, my bookshelf, a chair, pictures, a table…” As I noticed the objects, the spinning seemed to slow.
“As the axis of the revolution, what is your goal?”
“Exactly. What is the obstacle that keeps you from it?”
As I considered the question, the spinning seemed too speed up. The room spun faster, all of the ordinary items in my life swirling into a blend of shapeless colors. As I begin to focus on them, searching to define them, my spinning slowed again until I could make out forms.
“When I start looking at the objects around me and identifying them, I slow down.”
“Slow down?” he asked.
“I lose momentum. It’s like I’m expending energy on attaching myself to things by trying to identify them.”
“Your Tamas,” he said, “the obstacle that stands in your way of creating the path that you are on, is your limited understanding of the world around you. You see everything as its own separate entity instead of realizing the connectedness of all things. And how do you overcome that obstacle?”
I took another deep breath, feeling it fill my lungs as I started to spin faster again.
“I worry less about what’s going on `out there’ and focus more about what’s going on `in here’,” I said.
I continued breathing deeply, letting the world speed by, realizing that there were forms around me, but not giving them any conscious energy.
“I don’t see anything anymore,” I said.
“That’s a good start,” he said calmly. “So your Sattwa, your goal, is to revolve, and your Tamas, your obstacle, is attachment to outside forms, what is your Rajas? What makes you dynamic?”
“To remain unattached and keep my momentum.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because my own progress isn’t contingent on what happens in the world around me.”
“What is it contingent upon?”
I watched the world spin by. “My own willingness.”
This is an excerpt from How to Survive an Estralarian Mind Meld. Come back weekly for the next part or order your copy in ebook or paperback today!