A month ago, I wrote that I was going to write the world and type a new page every day. I have not done that. Once again, I have fallen short of some goal I set for myself.
But it’s another month, and I have one more month until my birthday. Depending on which calendar I adhere to, I could be turning either 52 or 47 again.
If we’re going purely by the current scientific understanding of time and space, the homo sapiens known by some as Steve McAllister will be making its 52nd rotation around the sun. As such, the body is giving more credence to gravity as various parts of it have begun to sag, droop, or hang lower, and there’s a little more pain in the joints and trepidation in the muscles.
However, I would rather honor my decision to be trans-temporal and keep aging backwards, which means that I am actually turning 47 again. Either way, I’ve got to take better care of this body while I still have use of it. So, for the first time in many years, I joined a gym and have started exercising daily.
I also wanted to get in better shape for my upcoming tour. I’ve been three times so far, going through the entire circuit of machines, and considering the soreness of my muscles on the fourth day of the month, I think that’s pretty good. I’ve got the membership through the 24th and plan to leave on August 1st, and I think that a plant based diet for the next month should help me get nice and detoxed.
I’m also giving myself a month of sobriety for my birthday this year, and I’m hoping that might help get me writing a bit more. Oftentimes, if I feel like alcohol or marijuana is talking, I won’t write because I don’t think it’s of a genuine spirit, and I don’t want to put that out into the world. Or it could be that it’s just no damn good.
But generally, over the course of the last few decades, if I’ve not been producing something of value, I’ve usually been consuming tobacco, media, marijuana, or alcohol, quite regularly a combination of all three. Because I’ve built a lot of shame around those activities, and have chosen them as my most glaring sins, I tend to not think I am worthy of the life I dream of as I am engaging in those very activities, and I don’t employ the energy required to realize that life and embrace it by doing the work required to create it.
However, just like every other fallible person on the planet, I’ve still managed to work through my lower vibrations and rise up to let the creative spirit move through me on a number of occasions. Amidst the wreckage of my lifestyle stunts over the past few decades, I’ve written and published ten books, produced a number of video projects including a feature length documentary about one of the four one man shows I’ve brought to the stage, which includes a few of the several original songs and poems I’ve written. While I’ve never been all that inclined to build up material wealth and get carried away with the illusion of finance, I have developed a wealth of art and ideas that I do think have more value than I’ve treated them with in the past.
Getting right down to it, when we consider the root of the economy as oikonomia, the rules of the house, it may very well be that the greatest economic challenge we face is valuing ourselves and the lives we’re able to lead. Ultimately, I think the greatest wealth I have is that I get to decide what I want to do with every one of the 1440 minutes I am given every day, and when I use them to positively benefit the world in which I live, I feel the most successful. So for the next four weeks, I’ll be doing my best to truly realize that wealth.
I’ve also realized that I like to romanticize things and make them harder than they have to be, which makes me avoid doing it. For instance, I have a dream of writing on my manual typewriter, digitizing it through voice to text, editing it, and then putting it out into the world. And while I have done it, it takes a lot more work than just using this computer keyboard or just using voice to text and not having to use my fingers at all. So I’ve decided to have my typewriter with me for custom poetry and the times I am inspired to truly let my inken soul bleed, but for the most part, I’m just going to use the most efficient tools as my disposal to do what I need to do.