St Patrick was born the son of a deacon and the grandson of a priest,
In 387, he was actually born in Scotland and a fortune he was bequeathed
But fortune didn’t smile on Patrick, and he was kidnapped at the age of 16
Taken by raiders to Gaelic Ireland, as a slave he tended sheep
Though he learned the customs of the druids, he prayed to God a hundred times a day
And God came to him in a dream and told him how to escape
Although Patrick escaped the druids, he was captured again by the French.
He was forced to live as a monk, and in Christianity he was entrenched
He was finally sent home to Britain and then returned to the emerald isle
He told the druids all about Christianity by using a little guile
He used their precious shamrock to explain the Trinity of God
and convinced them all how their pagan ways were so severely flawed
And while the idea that Patrick chased out all of the snakes has since been realized as stupid
He did Chase out all the pagans by converting all of the druids
As you may be able to notice by all our religious insanity
the greatest revenge for Patrick’s years as a slave was giving us Christianity.