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My Moments of Ignorance

My Moments of Ignorance

While many people know me as being fun living, thoughtful, and considerate, some remember me for my lesser moments of being an insensitive buffoon. Generally, I can be quite empathetic and caring, which often allows me to be a wonderful host and enjoyable company. But sometimes, I’m just an asshole.

Photo by Syarafina Yusof on Unsplash

I don’t necessarily mean to be, but I have a lot of thoughts screaming around in my head at any given moment, and sometimes, I cling to the wrong ones and express them at inappropriate times. Basically, when I focus my attention properly, I can be quite prolific, some have even said brilliant. But if I listen to my ego, I say some really stupid shit.

For instance, last night I attended the poetry group I started 3 years ago, having passed the hosting baton to my friend Martha when I left to ride my motorcycle around the country. A woman who has been coming with her husband for the last few weeks, both of whom I really like and wanted to get to know better, shared her second poem about someone she has lost within the last couple of weeks after they received a Covid vaccination. Within a week of each other, she lost both a friend and a family member.

After clarifying whom she lost, I asked which vaccine they got. She said that it was the Astrazeneca, which is basically the Pfizer shot in the UK from what I understand. So my stupid ego, apparently bereft of empathy says, “I got both Pfizer shots.”

Normally, I don’t talk about Covid, and I should have stuck to that rule. All I really know about Covid is that there is a lot of misinformation out there, and because I don’t want to spread any more ignorance than necessary, I just don’t talk about it.

Obviously, that may not be the best way to deal with a global pandemic that has rocked the world, and perhaps my frustration of being so ignorant may have had something to do with my ridiculous response. As a matter of fact, it’s probably safe to say that ignorance is the cause of most of my inaccurate moments. Basically, when I ignore the fact that my true purpose here is to just love other people, I get caught up listening to my ego, which usually responds in fear.

So if you come across someone who says something inappropriate that possibly offends you, I hope you can take a moment to realize that they are suffering through a moment of ignorance, as I sometimes do. Granted, some of us are more adept at simmering in ignorance than moving through it, but we all go through it a little bit. After all, physically, we are all 1% asshole, but emotionally, some of us really embrace the role. Nevertheless, if you can see past it, all of us are a whole lot more than our worst moments.